Conquering Toxic Work Relationships: An Emergency Expert's Guide (2025)
From Emergency Response to Workplace Healing!
Picture this! I'm standing in a busy emergency room during a mass casualty incident, leading a critical response team through what would become a 12-hour shift. The stakes couldn't be higher. Yet somehow, the most challenging part of my day isn't saving lives – it's navigating the toxic dynamics threatening to undermine our team's effectiveness. As a former Advanced Care Paramedic with 16 years in Emergency Services, I've learned that sometimes the most dangerous hazards aren't the obvious ones.
Through my journey from paramedic to Environmental Health and Safety Executive, and now as an anxiety coach, I've witnessed how workplace toxicity can spread through an organization like a virus, affecting everyone in its path. Recent studies show that 76% of workers have experienced toxic workplace relationships, yet only 12% of organizations actively address these issues. My unique perspective from both sides of the equation – as someone who's both experienced and helped others overcome workplace toxicity – has taught me that transformation isn't just possible, it's essential!
Key Highlights
Understanding the Anatomy of Workplace Toxicity
The Reality of Workplace Trauma
The Hidden Impact on Mental Health
Building Resilience in Toxic Environments
Transforming Toxic Cultures Through Trauma-Informed Leadership
Practical Strategies for Immediate Impact
From Crisis Response to Cultural Transformation
Understanding the Anatomy of Workplace Toxicity
During my years leading Emergency Response teams, I learned that toxic behaviors in the workplace often mirror trauma responses. When I think back to my time in Emergency Services, I remember a particularly skilled Senior Paramedic who created an atmosphere of fear through subtle manipulation and information control. Their technical skills were impeccable, but their impact on team morale was devastating.
These toxic patterns show up differently across organizations. In Emergency Services, it might be withholding crucial patient information to maintain control. In Corporate Settings, it could be excluding key team members from important meetings or decisions. The common thread? These behaviors create an environment where psychological safety takes a backseat to power dynamics!
The Reality of Workplace Trauma
What I've discovered through my transition from Paramedic to Anxiety Coach is that workplace trauma isn't always dramatic. Sometimes it's the quiet accumulation of daily microaggressions, the subtle undermining in meetings, or the constant state of hypervigilance that comes from working in an unpredictable environment.
During my time as an Environmental Health and Safety Executive, I watched a brilliant team member slowly withdraw from participation after months of subtle exclusion from key discussions. Their confidence eroded so gradually that most people didn't notice until their performance began to suffer. This is how workplace trauma often manifests – not in dramatic confrontations, but in the slow erosion of self-worth and professional confidence.
The Hidden Impact on Mental Health
Here's something I learned during my 18-year journey with anxiety – toxic work environments don't just affect your 9-to-5. The impact seeps into every aspect of your life. I remember the Sunday night panic attacks before facing another week of navigating toxic team dynamics. As a Paramedic, I was trained to handle life-and-death situations, yet the stress of a toxic workplace felt more overwhelming than any emergency call.
The mental health toll can manifest in unexpected ways
Physical symptoms that seem unrelated to work
Difficulty making decisions even in your personal life
Loss of confidence in skills you've mastered
Constant second-guessing of professional judgments
Through my coaching practice, I've helped professionals recognize these patterns and develop strategies for protecting their mental health while navigating toxic environments.
Building Resilience in Toxic Environments
Looking back at my Paramedic days, I realize that the most valuable skill I developed wasn't medical expertise – it was Emotional Resilience! Now, as an Executive Coach, I teach my clients that resilience isn't about "toughing it out" or developing a thicker skin. It's about creating sustainable strategies for protecting your mental well-being while navigating challenging environments.
When I moved to Hawaii five years ago, I learned that the ocean offers a perfect metaphor for workplace resilience. Like a surfer reading the waves, you need to learn to read the dynamics around you. Sometimes you ride the wave, sometimes you dive under it, but you always keep your eye on the horizon.
Here's what this looks like in practice!
Creating Micro-Moments of Safety
During intense shifts as a paramedic, I learned to create small pockets of calm amidst chaos. These days, I teach my clients to do the same in toxic work environments. It might be a five-minute breathing break between meetings, a quick walk outside, or even a moment of mindfulness while waiting for your coffee to brew.
Setting Strategic Boundaries
One of my executive coaching clients was struggling with a boss who would send urgent emails at all hours. We developed a system where she would check emails at specified times only, communicating this boundary professionally while maintaining her responsiveness to genuine emergencies. Her anxiety levels dropped significantly within weeks.
Transforming Toxic Cultures Through Trauma-Informed Leadership
During my years as an Environmental Health and Safety Manager, I discovered that creating lasting change requires more than just addressing obvious toxic behaviors. It demands a trauma-informed approach to leadership.
Real change starts with understanding that every person in your workplace carries their own story. That difficult team member who seems resistant to change? They might be operating from past workplace trauma. The overly controlling manager? Often acting from their own unprocessed experiences of uncertainty or powerlessness.
I remember implementing a new safety protocol in a previous role. The resistance wasn't about the protocol itself – it was about years of feeling unheard and undervalued. Once we addressed those underlying concerns, the change happened naturally.
“When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.”
Practical Strategies for Immediate Impact
Through my journey from Paramedic and Executive to Coach, I've developed what I call the ANCHOR method for handling toxic situations.
Acknowledge the reality of your situation without judgment
Notice your emotional and physical responses
Choose your response rather than reacting
Hold your boundaries with professionalism
Organize your support system
Respond with intention, not impulse
This isn't just theory – I've seen this work really well in high-stakes environments. Recently, a coaching client used this method to transform his relationship with a challenging colleague. Instead of engaging in their usual conflict pattern, he paused, acknowledged the dynamic, and chose a different response. The shift in their interaction was immediate and lasting.
From Crisis Response to Cultural Transformation
My transition from Emergency Medicine to Executive Coaching taught me something unexpected, the principles of crisis response apply perfectly to transforming toxic work cultures. Just like in an emergency, you need to assess the situation, prevent further damage, and implement a recovery plan!
Working through my own anxiety journey while leading teams showed me that vulnerability can be a leadership superpower. When I began openly discussing my experiences with workplace stress, something amazing happened. Team members felt safe sharing their struggles, and together we created a more supportive environment.
Here's what real transformation looks like!
A senior manager I coached was known for his harsh communication style. Through our work together, he realized this stemmed from his own experiences of feeling inadequate early in his career. By addressing these underlying patterns, he not only transformed his leadership style but also saw his team's performance improve dramatically. No one was more prouder of him than he was for not only acknowledging this but implementing such a healthy change in himself, although I will admit, I was and still am super proud of him too!
Knowing When to Stay and When to Go
After dedicating 16 years to Emergency Services – a career I remain deeply passionate about – I understood that career evolution is part of professional growth. My transition from frontline Emergency Response to Anxiety Coaching wasn't driven by toxicity but by a natural progression in my professional journey. Relocating to the United States from Australia opened new opportunities to channel my medical experience and expertise in a different direction.
The intensity, dedication, and psychological demands of frontline emergency work taught me invaluable lessons about resilience and human capacity. These insights, combined with my deep understanding of high-pressure environments, naturally led me to help others navigate their professional challenges. While I'll always cherish my time in Emergency Response, I recognized that my experience could serve others in a new way.
This perspective gives me unique insight when coaching clients through career transitions. I help them understand that moving to a new role or industry isn't about escaping – it's about evolution. Sometimes the path forward means applying your skills and passion in a different context.
Consider this framework I use with my coaching clients.
Stay and Build Resilience When
The toxicity is situational rather than systemic
Leadership acknowledges and addresses issues
You have support systems in place
Growth opportunities still exist
Your mental health can be protected
Consider Moving On When
The environment impacts your health despite your best efforts
Leadership actively enables or ignores toxic behavior
Your growth is consistently stunted
You're compromising your values to survive
Creating Your Path Forward
Whether you choose to stay and transform your current environment or seek new opportunities, I like to remind my anxiety clients that, “Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying get out of my way, I've got things to do."
Start with small changes. In Emergency Medicine, we learned that sometimes the smallest interventions make the biggest difference. The same is true in toxic work environments. Begin with one boundary, one conversation, one act of self-care.
Let me share a practical framework I developed through my coaching practice - the GROWTH approach!
Ground yourself in your values: What matters most to you professionally? As a Paramedic, my core value was saving lives. Now as a Coach, it's helping others overcome anxiety and panic disorder. Understanding your values helps guide difficult decisions.
Recognize your Power: You have more influence than you might think. One of my clients transformed her department's culture simply by starting meaningful conversations about mental health and workplace support.
Outline your Strategy: Create a clear action plan. During my transition from Emergency Services to Executive Leadership, I mapped out specific steps and milestones. This gave me confidence during uncertain times.
Track your Progress: Document small wins and learning moments. Just as we track vital signs in Emergency Medicine, track your professional wellbeing indicators.
Heal and Grow: Use challenges as opportunities for growth. Every toxic situation teaches us something about ourselves and our capabilities.
Support Others: As you develop strength and strategies, share your knowledge. Some of my most rewarding moments come from watching former clients mentor others through similar challenges. That’s positive change right there!
Final Thoughts…
Looking back on my journey from Paramedic and Executive to Coach, I've learned that workplace toxicity isn't just about difficult personalities – it's about systems, trauma, and the courage to create change.
Remember, just like in Emergency Response, you don't have to handle everything alone. Build your support network, seek professional help when needed, and trust your instincts about what's right for you.
Most importantly, remember what I always remind my clients, some of your best days haven't happened yet. Whether you're dealing with a toxic colleague, navigating a challenging culture, or building the courage to make a change, you have more strength than you realize.
Your experience with workplace toxicity doesn't have to define your career. Just as I transformed my own journey from handling emergency trauma to helping others heal from workplace trauma, you too can write a new chapter in your professional story.
Take that first step today. The workplace you deserve – one built on respect, support, and psychological safety – is possible. And you have the power to help create it!
(disclaimer: all references to my coaching clients in this article were done so with their permission first and written in a way to protect their privacy and identity.)
P.S. Don't forget to check out my latest articles for more tips and insights on anxiety management in this modern world!
